Trim, Traps, and Pee

Adding Character to the Fireplace

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ll know that I didn’t post yesterday because of a Mario Kart & Cheez Its hangover.  Turns out, you all love when that happens.  Just imagine stuffing your face with as many Cheez Its as you can, racing your best friends, sitting on the world’s most comfortable couch (Did I ever tell you the cushions were filled with DOWN?  Yes, down-filled cushions.) with the most pixelated game you’ve seen on a projector.  If you counted 4 boxes of Cheez Its in this picture, you’re right.  Bliss.  I’ll make sure to invite you all next time!

Mario Kart & Cheez Its

You guys are my friends.  Did you know that?  That being said, I tell you my deepest most embarrassing moments.  Remember when I built a Peyote tent?  See.  I trust you guys.

Maybe it’s the fireplace that brings out the dumb in me.  I don’t know.  But I had another incident.

If you remember, this is where we left off with the fireplace makeover:

cheap and easy fireplace makeover _ rustoleum high heat ultra

The tile was so ugly, it needed to be covered.  We liquid-nailed some bead board over the tile.  IF YOU PLAN ON DOING THIS IN YOUR HOME, BE AWARE THAT IT IS NOT TO CODE!  (a fireplace surround must be non flammable stone/tile/brick)  However, our chimney isn’t to code, and isn’t working properly.  We are not burning fires in our fire places.  The only thing we plan to burn in the fireplace is love.  And candles.  We treat it as a “faux fireplace.”  

It needed some trim around the edges of that bead board.  So I whipped out my Mighty Miter Saw.  *insert action music*  I was born with an innate knowledge of the miter saw.  I don’t know why, but it’s like we “get” each other.  It speaks its toolsy language to me.  No one taught me how to use one.  I just figured it out.  I didn’t want to be walking in and out of the house a million times, so I decided to turn the kitchen into my work space.  You do that too, right?

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

Unless we are actually watching the dogs, we like to keep them out of the front room and basement using what we call “The Indy Trap.”  We call it that because Buster is smart enough to jump over it, and Indy isn’t.  But Buster knows he isn’t allowed.

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

So there I was, making my cuts of trim, and stepping over the Indy Trap.  Back and forth from the dining room to the front room.  Back and forth, back and forth.  I was right about to liquid nail a piece of trim on, when the thought struck me like a flash flood: “Oh my gosh.  If I don’t pee now, I am going to die.”  You’d think I’d had 7 kids by the way I always have to pee.  But no, I have no excuse.  So I was crossing my legs tight, trying to hold it in.  And I went to step back over the Indy Trap, and the rest is a blur.  I ate it HARD!  My camera was on the tripod on the otherside, so I knocked that over pretty good (Luckily it wasn’t broken, and luckily there is a brand new one under the tree!), and when I hit the floor, I peed.  Everywhere.  WHY????  This is not the first time I have fell so hard it knocked the pee right out of me.  (Ask my mom about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at 2 AM and peed at the bottom.  I was 18.)

And I got my shin nice and chewed up as well.  Low res enough that you can’t tell how prickly my legs really are.

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

I have no dignity left.  I’m just  DIYer who pees her pants.  Regularly.

So I changed my pants, started the laundry, and got right back on the horse fireplace with new determination.

This stuff sticks like death to a peasant in the 1400’s.  

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

Look at that joint!  It’s enough to make any senior citizen green with envy!  (You know.. “joints”)

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

I went and asked a grown up for help with the nail gun.

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

The inside trim was a little trickier than the outside trim.  I needed something with the right amount of lip.  A little more Kirsten Dunst and a little less Julie Roberts.

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

The process of installing it was the same at the outside.  Make the cuts at 45 degree angles.  Liquid nails.  Finish nail it in place.

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

It’s the finishes that give it the character.  No raw edges.  No gaps.  It’s much more polished.  (Do you remember those rock tumblers that made polished rocks?)

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

Before the trim:

cheap and easy fireplace makeover _ rustoleum high heat ultra

After the trim:

fireplace makeover _ easy trim

So next time you want to add character to your fireplace, make sure you go to the bathroom first.

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  • Emma (Broke Ass Home)

    I’m sorry you peed. I love you anyway. But at my house, please make it to the toilet or Seamus will roll in it. The fireplace looks so finished and professional! Like you knew what you were doing. Ten points!

    • Haha! Deal. I promise not to pee on your floor 🙂
      And thank you for thinking it looks professional. I’m quite proud of my handy work on this one.

      • The fireplace looks amazing. Hard to believe what you started with! Also, we share a bladder condition. I can go from totally okay to GET OUT OF MY WAY RIGHT NOW I MUST GET TO THE BATHROOM in like .2 seconds.

        • Oh my heck, we are soul sisters. I don’t know what my problem is, but that is ALWAYS the case! 🙂 I’m glad you get me Tracie!

  • I agree with Emma– both in that my dog would roll around in your pee and also that the fireplace looks super rock and roll 🙂

    • How is it that neither one of my dogs felt the need to roll around in my pee? They just sat on the other side of the kitchen and stared at me with tilted heads. And thank you. If the fireplace were in a band, it would be Dave Grohl. Let’s be real.

  • Ha! Gotta love a confessional blogger 😉

  • Amy

    The fireplace did need that extra finish. This weekend we installed trim around the vents that are mounted on the wall, it made such a difference in a finished look!

    • It is seriously AMAZING what trim can do! I’m all about finishing touches. I want to see the trim around your vents!

  • Josh

    Those Indy Traps are also Joshky Traps.

    • Maybe that’s cuz we don’t want you to get past it and into the kitchen. HMM! jk. Sorry for trapping you Joshky!

      • Josh

        Ain’t no thang. I usually just move them anyway, haha

  • I love reading your blog. Always cracks me up. Seriously laughed out loud and got some strange looks.

  • This made me laugh out loud!!! I love you!! I love everything about you!! You are so funny and talented!!! I am a better person because you are in my life!!!! Thanks for loving my nephew and blessing our family!!!

    • Aunt Becky, you make me feel good about myself. I love YOU! I’m grateful for you and our friendship. We need to have a date soon, just you and me. Text me mmk?

  • eranfaraway

    I am impressed by your ability to stay positive and laugh at yourself.
    I’m so sorry you peed, but the way you handled it was charming. I think
    the finished look the trim provides is well worth an extra load of
    laundry! I hope your shins heals up soon.

    • Thanks Erin! Laughing at myself is the only way for me to get through my embarrassment of a life 🙂 I’d rather laugh than cry. Crying gives me headache. I hope your arms get better soon too!

  • Pendra

    You made me laugh so hard, I almost wet myself or as my Sister says…the tears ran down my legs! I’ve taken a few bad falls but never “actually” peed! Take good care of your BooBoo’s!

  • So cute! I need an Indy trap for my Lucy! Sorry about the pee and the shins. And your unshavened legs hehe

    • I can definitely let you borrow some scrap wood for a Lucy Trap. She is a doll. You make beautiful children! Oh man, I never shave my legs. It’s bad news!

  • Addi

    I haven’t tripped on it…yet. My day will soon come hahaha

    • lol Addi! You know… I don’t know why we keep it. We put them in the bathroom during the day, so it’s not like we NEED it. It’s there out of habit. We’re dumb 🙂